The Singaporean in Me.

This post is one of my longest posts ever, and none of the content is to be assessed academically. =) So dun expect topic sentences or linkages. =) And it is super long. so i wun blame you if you give up halfway. HA!


Ytd lecture was and is still one of the most impactful lecture that SOT ever gave, or anyone ever gave me for that matter. Probably beacause it was about the Singaporean identity, relevant(or irrelevant, since we are so politically apathetic). It was, to quote and unquote Valerie, self-realization, and led to a deeper understanding of the Singaporean in Singaporeans.


One of the things i remembered, was the Train. The trains just kept coming on, one following another while passengers on board or off-board tries to keep up. Passengers friends with each other, akin and mirror our classmates who our friends, tries to comfort each other while looking over their shoulders for the next train(got the expression when Tong looked over hos shoulder for the imaginary non-existent train). We would say:"Don't be sad.""Don't be angry." "Don't be depressed." All non-sensical stuff and attempts to comfort, while anxiously awaiting the next train. But what we really are doing, is to create more oppression and supression for our friends whom we are trying to comfort. Tong told us the annecdote of one of his students, who used to tear in front of her friends, but gradually stopped when prelims are arriving, in order not to affect them.

Classic case of self-sacrificial martyrdom.


On a side-note, she went home and cry to herself. I wonder how many of you actually cry to yourselves, not to others. I'd wager, most of you. I know, because I do. Really think joanne is doing the right thing by complaining and confiding in others, because this way she relieves her stress. =D


I really hope that Tong had advised his student to confide more in her friends, tell them the problem. I believe that it would be a good therapy for her, because talking, whether you believe it or not. I don't confide, sadly, and never learnt how to. I do, from time to time, confide my small fears and insecurities, to a few of my closest friends(sometimes directly, sometimes so subtly they dont realise it), and i have derived a small measure of peace.


But back to the girl. Some might protest, if the girl confides in her friends, she was going to drag them down for prelims. Every min she spent confiding, it would mean that her friends would have one less min to revise. We all know how valuable a min is, how long(or how short) tt one min is, depending on your context. Yet, have anyone consider, how much that time spent on comforting and listening, i mean really listening and comforting your friend, you would oso achieve a real sense of friendship. A link. A bond. Most people don't realise it, but a real relationship between people is really one of the greatest feeling and joy(and peace) that anyone could achieve. No man is one-man island-we all need company. Humans are made to live together, in packs. Not apart, but A part. I don't have many close friends, having drifted rather aimlessly during my frist 2 years in sec1 and 2. Yet it made realise, when i entered sec 3 and 4, how much difference friends would make. I was Public Enemy No.1 in sec 1 and 2, but when Fate decreed that I shall be put amongst fellows of other classes and not be given biology and the class where most of my ex-classmates were going to, I was given a new chance, and yes, i found some sort of equilibrium. I had troubles still, but i am glad that they gave me a chance to be a real friend to them again.
*here i would like to thank Mau<3<3<3, esp to Ching, rou fang and yes, pris too.


So back to time spent on friendships. Tong told us about a guy(no names!), X,who went ard helping ppl, doing more than his fair share of work. Contrast him to another girl, who was always going around, raiding others' bags for information and see what they were doing(as 'raiding' suggest, she didn't have permission). The results:Band 1 for the girl, Band 3 for X. Tong recalled how, when he went to the class, they were in uproar, flinging chairs and swearing vulgarities. All for injustice for X. Recognizing that he could not teach, Tong went to X, askign him what grade he had. X replied Band 3.


The Paper did write 3 after all.


"No. Class, what should X get?"Tong asked again.
"Band 1!" was the uniform chorus, the strong outcry.
So he asked X again, what he got.
Tha ans was Band 3. So he asked the class again. The class soon caught on and kept insisting X had gotten a Band 1. Finally, X said Band 1. Flatly, then refuse to say anymore.
My point of this story(I don't know about Tong. Think it was on boxes and labels, buti shall sort of link them.) was on friends therapy. I can tell you, having not so many close friends myself, being confided in, is a great hounour and sign that someone trusted you. Trusted you enough that they would tell you, admit and confess to you, what their troubles were. I am not saying that you should listen to others, to feel good about yourself. There is nothing to feel good about when your friend was in trouble. All I am saying, this can lead to a positive reflection and realization of your self, and a confidence boost for you. In helping others, you help yourself grow. So who say helping others would drag yourself down? I really think that is what true friendships should be about. Seeing your friend fall out of the train, getting off the train to help them, but NOT looking over your shoulder for the next train, until your friend is fit enough to travel again on the train, without getting some sort of motion sickness.


Tong also told us about boxes and labels, a crisis that youths in Singapore face. We are always necessarily categorizing our steps, making boxes and labels, jumping with trpidation and fear into them, with a 'die-die must succeed' attitude. Thinking that if we couldnt make it to the next box, we would fall forever into the dark abyss without hope of ever making it into the next box. We are so very obssessed by making it, like in the story of X, who was so focused on the toilet paper (I wish Tong could have videoed it down, so that he can show it to X when he was older and more mature to realise how much value that paper should actually have), that we forgot there are other boxes too.Other boxes with labels of success.


There was another humbling yet inspiring story of a young man who tried retaking his As, i think 2 or 3 times. 3 i think. He didn't make it the first time, not the second time while he was in the army, and not the 3rd time, while he spent mornings on tuition and work, and nights at Tong's house studying till 4am. Wiping away his tears rather impatiently and also indifferently. He failed time and time again, when he finally resigned himself to failing and signed on the army.


What have these boxes and labels done to us? Efforts to demolish ranking status, abolish systems of streaming, all great ideas, but none actually working. RJ, VJ, HCI, TJ, AJ, all will always remain top and represent the ultimum, while SR YJ always will remain bottom. (forgive my freedom of speech here.) NY? Some never even heard of this JC.


Tong told us about his young life as a teenager, when he was retained and retained, even in uni(to quote him"You don;t get retained in U. Only losers get retained in U"). Unfortunately for him, his sister was a pedigree type, RGS, some Cambridge or Oxford or some big-shot graduate, now Director of Ministry of Health or sth, but you get the idea, the contrast.During social functions, his sister would always be introduced first, about all her qualifications, and when it finally came to him, his father would say:

9:51 pm ┬╖

Eureka-the class i will always be proud of

suddenly while i was bathing juz now...i had a sudden tot to dedicate an entry for eureka. =) hehehehe....
What i generally miss =D
Noise must come first of coz. hahahahaha! whats four E without some noise?! =))) hehehehe~~~~ i miss e background noise with everyone toking at the same time together wif the teacher =DD it was REALI irritating...esp when u are trying to complete assignments, esp SEATWORK..bt i will go to tt ltr......bt then~~~
OUR NOISE IS OUR MUSIC!
I miss all our teachers....song,TLC,ms oh,ms heng,mok,rahim,kang!!!!did i missed out anione??
haha......song would give us SEATWORK ....which was maths on the spot work. -_-''''' generally slacking time except for a few of us....dying to complete n hand in first....also his 'FOUR E!' when he finally couldnt take it. ha. so nice of him to invite us to his wedding n house...chloe. his second child is wad gender ar?!
i miss mr tan's random ghost stories, n he would always turn off e light...hahahaha! bt we made him real angry till he walked out of e class...=( not a gd memory, bt shows he's one of our best teachers!
ms oh was erm...experiencing quite alot of moodswings and stress wif us...bt stil a gd physics teacher to us....willing to give saturday class n consultation~~heard she gt bf now~~hheeee....
ms heng taught us onli one year(some of us for 3 years), bt then class was fun and we always make fun of her! bt yar.......ms heng was nice =) tink she now at anderson rite??
mok. awwww~~~~sacastic mok. who can forget him. always making us type out our essays so tt his eyesight wont spoil. ha! wah sae!!! tink everyone agree tt e most memorable episode wif him was when everyone wanted to run from his lesson! wah~~~~first n i tink last time i would hear an english teacher scream BLOODY HELL! for everyone including raja in e opposite block! *grins heard from 4H they gt a shock...hahaha! bt mok was undeniably gd. =D
rahim. keeps breaking voice!!!!!!!!! =) hahahahhahahaha!!!!!!!! so funny!!!!!!!!! rmb his bob the builder pencil box?! omg. firts time a grown man take ob e builder pencil box to school!
kang. our mother!!!!!!! loving n always patient wif us.......nvr losing her temper...........at most keep quiet n wait for us. one time nearly lost it though. geog was made fun by her! =DDDD
i dun noe if i miss out anione..
probably chinese la...bt then gt 2..xiao li zi....n ......forgt her name. ha.xiao li zi was gd....boisterous n always whacking her students on the back =) ha. painful i tell u.
being togther was real family time. even if everyone stil gt certain cliques...bt then........we stil love each other n anione from ani clique can get together n just sit down n tok!!!!!!!! =) reali lurve those days!!!!

special dedication to everyone:
*not in ani particular order........juz whoever i tink of first~~
1.Maureen:GT MISS YOU!!!!!!! hiaks! the class 24 xiao. =)))))))))))))))) veri long nvr see her liao......sniff~~~~~~must go out after As!!!! <3
2.Tay cheng yin:haiz. dun worry peeps. she's stil as childish as ever....stil wa wa face!!! =D oh~~nid to go running liao =/
3.Rou:tink e biggest baby in class. ha. cheerful n our nurse. currently studying nursing. =)
4.Fang:involved wif her baby.ha.......miss our mugging sessions at Rm
5.Pris:haiz. so paiseh to her...always ps her last min...always sae wan go shopping, bt then sae so long...from last year til now stil onli one session....
6.Yanlin:DIAM LA!! QI LI!!!!!!! hahaha!!!! your voice horx...stil ringing in my ears after so long!
7.Huixian aka xiao bai:haiyo~~~~tuition wif u sia....stil dun noe how i ended up wif u. hahahahhahaa!!!!! =p
8.Ying Xieng:4e superstar! lets go K-Box someday! =)
9.Yee yan:haiz! stil as childish i bet! although veri long nvr tok to u or see u le...miss me rite?!?!!?! bleax!
10.Melody:our huang shang~~~always dun rmb me as ba gege. sniff. no place in her palace. sniff. hehehe...must go out soon wif mau oso!!!! =)
11.Kenneth:my crapping n lobstering partner. chionging maths was real fun n gd....everydae laugh til stomach ache de....fun n carefree laughter..so long le ~~~~
12.Rivian:my sister. haha. stop saying i gt affair wif him la.......haiyo.......n e guys beta stop bullying him ar!! =)
13.Lionel:XIAO DI! i miss gg to yr hse!!!! gg online...eating chocolates...revising A maths...bt generally doing nth much...hahaha! been a long while since everyone in the group gather together~~~
14.Xiang yu:wah...top student ar?! haha...sci pro la.......rmb u as lamer n always choinging maple wif yew hong after sch. haiyo! hope u doing well! =)
15.Yew Hong:u ar...sit beside you......when kwang wei nt ard la......hahaha...dun noe to describe la.....kena caught by u one time wif chen long..haha...so suay! =p
16.Wilson:hello~~stil as skinny as always huh....pls STOP SMOKING!!!!!!!!!! >/
17.Shi Wen:hahaha. wads so memorable? PIZZA HUT!!!!!!
18.Weiyan:wah.......eng oso powderful de......=) hahaha......like playing merry go round...take turns ar~~~ =D
19.Lilin:hello!!!! pls advise yr frien to stop smoking ar.......smack his hand!
20.Michael:nvr reali tok to u ar....always disappear dunnoe where de.haha.bt hope u n jiaqi stil happy together! =)
21.Zhi Peng:hey~~~~will always treasure e test-tube u gave me for being my Valentine!! u better have still rmb it! although it was late!!! =P
22.Qiwen:i noe i noe...muz go BBQ soon~~if nt eureka diasppear liao..
23.Kwang wei:Partner forever. what mroe can i sae. hahaha!!!
24.Nizar:nth to sae to u SIA. haha. hanahana. handsome la handsome la. -_-''
25.Qingyun:unforgettable n loud HAHA. wah lau. laugh like pronouncing words de sia! hahahahaha!
26.Xue'er:sexy n slim. i dun wan tok to u liao la! =)))))) bt i love yr hair....e one u cut like time at the BBQ......tink i said it look like stingray. DAMN COOL.
27.Jie Hao:call u jiao better la...sounds so strange.....n pls stop calling me wang tistis! thanks ar!
28.Sze Yee:e onli white rival i have...bt then i lose la....yr sirname oso BAI sia! hahaha! jiayou for As.....dun see u so much animore~~
29.Poh Boon:i am nt lao wang okay! wah lau...everytime see me oso lao wang de...haiz......=) thanks for yr panda though! =)
30.Han Wei:wah lau...suay lae~~~~known u since p6. haiz........at least nt calling me bear bear liao! humph!
31.Izzat:BOMBAD! hahaha~~tt is all i noe of u..ha. =)
32.Eileen Goh:haiyo....loud n noisy! stil nt yet change! tsk tsk! =) being wif jason made u more feminine though! heeeeeeeee!!!!!!! dun whack me ar!
33.Kailing:Vice-chairman. hahaha......short bt generally effective....must organise BBQ ar!!!!!! no slacking! =)
34.Lam:hey..hope u doing okay gal! =) cheers n stay sweet n pretty~~~~ =D
35.Ethel:wah lau~~last time saw u on bus wif bombad ar! haiya! dating ar?!
36.Hansen:always sleeping! haiz. haha. bt yr tiger hair looks cool~~
37.Nurul:hello. u stil owe me class fotos!!!!!! i NID THEM!!! =)))) next time ar!
38.Jacyln:hello........where have u been??? AWOL?
39.Si Bei:hello! remain sweet always!
40.Yong Cheng:YC! i stil dun noe why they call u assassin. ha!
41.Bazhang:nvr tok to u de lae.....=/
42. Zimin:oso nvr tok much lae...bt then if u stil interested in my xiao di...=)

know what? i counted everyone...bt nvr count myself....til mau tell me. wah lau! STUPID!
bt bottom line~~~i miss EUREKA! =DDD

9:19 pm ┬╖