Day 14
Others have no choice.
N they treasure.
You have a choice.
But you seem to treat it so damn normally.
I wonder sometimes, am i too needy?? I kinda look down on myself for being so clingy..all e talk on how determined i am to be financially independent and able to at least survive so dat i dont have to bear wif u being my boss blah blah blah...all seems to contradict myself...haiz...
Ya. I can webcam u i can at least call u anytime i can reach u any time i can see u more than yr parents per year.
REALLY???
You there??? Would you call me for more than 20 mins every other day?? I hate dat i cant control when u call since you can only call wheb you reach hme...
Okay. I'm so selfish. But it drives me crazy when i'm wondering when and if you'll call 2nitex n when your mum will nag at u to slp. Okay. I noe u shld listen to yr mum. Not fair of me huh.
Wads e use of webcam when you cant even go online as long as you like, n i like...seeing u onscreen...hmmm...i'd rather not see than see n complain of e short time. Out of sight out of mind.
So wad if i see u more than your parents do?? It doesnt erase e fact you disappear during this period. It feels like e theory of 我吃一年的饭就每天不用吃饭. Ns men oso likdat mah. Blocked periods of no contact when they go out at sea. But at least it's only 2.5 years. To do this for e rest of my life requires more than i tot.
Okay. I juz revealed wad a selfish brat i'm. So horrible n un-understanding. It's only a short while.
But it's so discouraging. I'm someone who has too idealistic thinkings-you thinks practically. So similar fundementally, yet so different essentially. Unsound, but sound. I'm conservative, not traditional. I guess it's this, which misleads us into tinking we're so similar. Retaining my roots, but influenced deeply by western ideas. I can forsee loads of conflicts.
I wonder if i'm up to it.
Okay. Listen up girl. You noe there cant not be reason for us to clash this beautifully. There's sth in e way our hearts n minds link in dat kind of BHAM n fuck, suddenly there really is a destined pairing like ancient past lives do exist. There cant be a hole n brim of wonder in me for you in you for me without a meaning.
Bear it n find e love to give. You did an A essay before on wad love means. So do it again.