Wednesday, October 31, 2007
GP
Sadness.Thats how i feel now. Juz back from sch...nt yet bath.Because why? i know i am not going to do well. C if i am lucky le.Lets not even talk about paper one...where i cant even finish writing a conclusion and several of my points tt i planned, esp e balance.Paper 2.this must be one of the worst paper i ever done for 18 years le.i couldnt understand the passage! omg. this is e first time i totally dont understand the passage at all. never happened to this extent. i could even understand to a certain extent last year's freedom passage and e 2 last passages tong gave. bt somehow, i juz din understand the passage enough to even know what he is trying to argue for. i couldnt get his argument. i know my paper well enough to know that my AQ would be my biggest bomber for paper 2. for god sake. i had 20 fucking min to do e farking AQ but i onli managed to get 2 paragraphs?! any idiot can tell u i lost coherence and evaluation and evidence. i cant even get the 2 basic marks. coz i din have balance. i dun noe what e hell was i tinking. i brought an unclear mind into the hall. fuck. i know one paper does not necessarily mean that i am an incompetent student. i know my standard is not supposed to be like this. even if i fail one paper, it does not mean i have no more options. butthis happens to be the one subject i love, the one i was sure i couldhave gotten an A. yet now if i fail, it doesnt justify myself to myself. i am too scared to even cry. crying would mean that i wont be able to do well for my other papers oso. also, i know i deserve to fail. i juz din calm myself enuf when i panicked right at the start. just now jo pat me on my back and said'oi....A liao la...A liao la..i appreciate your confidence, but i was honestly tempted to break down and cry there. damn it. not scolding jo, just scared i would cry. =/ so easy to. '.......wad else can i say.............