Snowflakes

2011-11-30T17:18:00.003+08:00

i need to calm down and stop for a while to think about the persistent anxiety in my heart. it aint doing no good for my poor heart. if this goes on, i'm gg to give out in a short time. too short. i haven gone travelling yet. i haven take all the airplanes until i want to puke. most imptly, it aint good for my frame of mind.

i noe my gpa gonna free fall after this sem. what can i do? stop. breathe. think. how impt is this? if teaching cannot be a good career, either i find new source of income and continue to teach, or i change track totally. changing track is not scary. i've changed all my answers to fit a question before. i've discarded entire preparations to do impromptu style before. i've even not answered an entire essay and manage to survive not too badly.

one mod is not gg to kill me. it might kill the overworn fingertips of my gpa which is hanging on the cliff, but it wouldnt kill me. there has to be a way out of this.

i'm gg to make it work.

but first, i nid to stop this attack on my heart.

so now, read and reread the post until i believe it. before tml comes n my heart gives out altogether.

2011-11-29T17:32:00.002+08:00

this sem is really the worst so far.

last sem, my essay grades werent too bad.

omg. this sem. i'm really pushing it.

aed281: all my teammates s/u. n e project is 40%. fine.
222: bedescott is known for being lenient. but. he sae i didnt ans the qn directly. fine.
214. my thesis apparently all over the place. fine.
410????? feminism? how can i get such grades?! oh yes. prolly because i had the race of the main character wrong which means my entire argument is flawed?

for the first time, i noe wad is despair. despair occurs right after u realise the bell curve is not gg to help when everyone is getting gd grades.

2011-11-18T15:19:00.000+08:00

so demoralised alr.

n tml's only the second paper.

2011-11-18T15:09:00.002+08:00

it's a stormy friday.

and i've been officially killed once by the first paper.

tml, i'll die a second death.

may it be quick.

i should've listened to my guts instincts and take other mods.

too late to regret.

goodbye 2nd upper. worked my ass off to maintain you, and now u throw a tantrum.

haiz.

2011-11-12T10:02:00.000+08:00

I'm like, okay this doesnt surprise me. But tml will be better. Not gonna get down. I'll win thiz war!

promise to myself.

2011-10-27T17:14:00.002+08:00

From now on i shall stop whining and complaining and just get down to work.

Go. GO!

x.x

2011-10-13T23:00:00.002+08:00

omg.....why indian lit so chim?! not 1500 words only mehx?! shld be so easy!! now....i'm juz dreading hyun jung essay. x.x

2011-09-27T19:06:00.000+08:00

i noe wad i want,

but i'm afraid to ask, because no one can give it to me.

2011-09-27T14:14:00.001+08:00

tsk. shit shit shit.

this sem's essays are damn difficult and so....indian and muslim sia....wtf do i noe abt them?! wahhhh.....how to write an essay without feel....

2011-09-22T20:17:00.002+08:00

i realise there's still so much to do, so much tension to work out.

are there any constants? nope. who is to say wad will happen tml? some things that we've been comfortable and supposedly set for life, will anything change tml when we wake up?

distance is growing, and the battle does not seem to get more worthy of fighting everytime. not everytime.

will i still noe you the day after tml? or will we be strangers the days after the next?

2011-08-07T22:08:00.001+08:00

i really really really dun wan to go back school ;(

am really dreading sch...n fyp.

2011-07-14T00:26:00.001+08:00

i wish i had the heart to sae i dun really care abt u, i care abt wads happening to me, but yea. it would be plain rude.

when the distance seems to stretch

2011-07-10T11:25:00.002+08:00

guess it's true wad they sae. it'll take a toll on you sooner or later.

sometimes, you just need a cooling off period and take a breather.

Avril Lavigne - Smile

2011-05-29T19:08:00.000+08:00

i love this though. haha.

Avril Lavigne - When You're Gone

2011-05-29T19:07:00.000+08:00

this is so sad, avril has great music, but why are her videos packaged in such a way? now this is why it is so impt to educate yr children, and not let them get ideas in their head. =x

2011-05-25T00:51:00.002+08:00

Haiya, y u not here to share my work exp w me?! Haiz..

But i recognize that i'm feeling uncomfortable. Not used to being alone, sorry stand corrected. Used to having occasional absences, but stil, it would help. But then, i might be too comfy and reliant. Not gd for me. I muz rmb to be independent. That said, i nid to split my cash into diff a/c ya. Hmm. So, yes. Go get those kids tml!!!

Anw it's only a few more days!! :D

2011-05-24T21:37:00.002+08:00

i'm so tired, i fell aslp in front of the tv, the noose. OMG.

wah lau. next time, muz make sure you dont get a job which you dont like and dont noe anything abt. haha.

the kids are wonderful, but i forgot i shld not let one kid get my entire day down and restless. haha.

rmb my real motive here. i'm working from the bottoms up to noe more abt the business.

2011-05-20T14:59:00.003+08:00

i tink my emotions are always either extremely stressed and depressed, or it'll be deliriously happy.

i forgot how is it like to be peaceful. one day i'll reward my poor overworked heart. so sorry <3

2011-05-19T14:30:00.000+08:00

you noe, sometimes i wish i can juz drop dead.

dun u dare tell me i'm selfish. they haven been dat selfless either.

2011-05-17T04:51:00.004+08:00

I tink u always manage to leave me at the worst possible time..haha.

But, everytime, i noe it's a decision i have to make myself, because it affects my own future.

Shld i go, or shld i not go?? If i go, there is better reflection, but no guarantee since it'll alr have been on record.

But why shld i then, if it's alr on record?! Besides...i didnt go in blind. I had prior and post permission, all emails kept as proof. But u threatened me n said it'll not reflect well on me in future when i get appointed into....

I believe i noe it in my heart wad to expect for the future. E uncertainty. And hence, i really have to be prepared to change. I nid to strengthen myself anf fortify myself wif plenty o vitamins, e more potent e better.

I stil wish i can seek yr opinion, but since it's ultimately my own decision, i nid to do wad my heart and mind dictates.

I feel so defeated, by a system i defended so much. But changes nid to be accounted for, and i have to be stronger than e wave and ride above it.

I nid to trust in myself, that i have been strong enuf, and i will be too in e future. That, is the promise to myself.

2011-05-11T22:33:00.003+08:00

in e midst of so much stress alr, can my officer juz stop piling them on me?!!!! u fucking reply so late then without my yes u juz went ahead and assume. knn. u dun wan to help me get thru the backgate stil wan to enrol me. tmd.

2011-05-09T00:25:00.003+08:00

why do i insist on killing myself by killing hope.

e less i noe e more hope rite?!!!!!!

good nite....

2011-05-08T23:49:00.003+08:00

haiz. i shldnt have gone to check. but there was a burning desire n i couldnt resist.

now i noe for sure? i screw up my 2nd essay with the first. haiz. wanna bang my head against the wall. i dont tink i'll fail, hopefully, but prolly 50/100. if my quotations are accepted.

such a claustrophobic heart.

2011-05-08T23:16:00.001+08:00

breathe baby. u cant stop here.

breathe. press on. it's only a few more days.

there is a time for everything okay.

breathe. baby breathe.

2011-05-08T22:53:00.001+08:00

i cant stop thinking abt 206.

i cant believe myself. for fuck i go refute the statement?

i'm so angry at my self i cant even bring myself to type and continue reading for other mods.

goooooddd....

2011-05-08T22:38:00.001+08:00

MY GOD!!!!!!!!! I JUZ RECEIVED CONFIRMATION THAT I'M WRONG IN REFUTING THE STATEMENT!!!!! IT IS PART OF MODERISM!!!! OMF!!!! siao liao. 30 m...

2011-05-08T18:27:00.002+08:00

this sem i feel so drained out and in constant depression. i tink not totally my fault. somehow my worst state of depression comes when i take the pills regularly. e doc was not happy, but he didnt harp. heng...

but ya. totally in a daze when i came out of the first paper. my goodness. i had tot maybe this mod wun be tt bad, since i kinda get wad fratt was saying. but ohmygoodness, i totally couldnt conc on the paper! keep stoning. worse, when i looked up, it was 430 sharp. and i had one more essay. hate myself for panicking. but i couldnt control. in e end, after written a crappy first essay, i screwed up my second. by refuting the given statement.

WAD KIND OF IDIOT DOES TT!!!!

we're told specifically to explain the significance!!!!!!! wah lau........haiz. feel a physical urge in my stomach to bang my head against the wall. haiz.

my essay better get AAA++++++. if not really arhx...damn hard to pass this sem.

but i feel so sorry and heartbroken for myself. i've worked so hard for the past 5 sem. attending lectures and doing research. this sem the same, even when friends dont come n i noe i'll be alone, i stil went. haiz. wads e point man...wads e point.

i juz feel so...defeated....even e mrt broke down or sth on the way hme. haiz. wtf. i tink i shld juz abandon myself n resign to tt stupid so near yet so far grade. haiz.

juz really heartpain for myself.

damn....

2011-05-01T01:24:00.001+08:00

i might be pro-PAP POLICIES,

but even I can see the wrong word choices by PAP. their words do not reflect wads really happening, but kinda tweaking the truth. maybe i'm a lit major and sensitive to word choice, but....

the reason why WP's slogans might be selling? they dare to point out the flaws of PAP's argument.

our dear leaders nid to udnerstand that they have invested in our education, and it made singaporeans smarter, and want more. the policies of i tell u u listen does nt work in this age anymore. the safe formulas are gone, and you nid to really understand how the (especially the older gen of workers who were chinese educated but still form a good base of voters) people tink. for eg. one issue of concern. foreigners. i'm all for immigrants, but i want only the high-end talents. i utd banglas are here to contruct our homes, but i dun utd how chinese students, who do not perform academically are given PR status as the ones who work hard academically, or those weird chinese aunites who are mistresses. dun tell me these ppl are far and few, no system is perfect. the ministries shld do a calculation on how many such ppl have been admitted into the system, and when i tink of these lazy bums sharing our low cost med costs, i feel a sense of anger. naturally. dun wait for elections to say that measures are tightening. these ppl are in alr.

checks and balances are good. property prices will fall with a change of mp? if the mp are doing their job of proper upgrading, prices wun fall. hg flats are worth alot btw. esp central. tink of where the mrt and mall and plaza are at.

tt said, of course as a small fry singaporean, i tink we shld vote for the candidates who are really good, regardless of opp or pap. pm lee is like way better than reform party, and csj shld jus disappear forever, siao. reduce ns? and.....dig into reserves? seriously? wtf. reserves are emergency $$, where got anyhow use de. siao.

all above posted: strictly personal opinions only. juz trying to voice a little opinio. these words shall not be used by u dirty sneaky reporters or whosoever for a cheap lunch okay? strictly personal opinions. not factual. based on personal opinions.

:) may the best man wins.

2011-04-18T21:11:00.001+08:00

i noe wad my problem is.

i'm making an ambitious claim that i naively prove.

sorry prof. your student did not hand in her most awesome work. : (

2011-04-13T18:56:00.001+08:00

come back immediately the tv on again. haiz.

2011-04-13T11:15:00.001+08:00

i feel like shit man seriously.

why bother getting my hopes up for sth i worked hard for? i tot it was good, but it is subjective.

i hate the feeling of disappointment, and now i'm panicking.

2011-04-11T20:37:00.002+08:00

seriously i'm losing patience with my writing. wad e fuck is this mod toking abt?! i freaking have no idea where to start...haiz.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

2011-04-07T12:03:00.000+08:00

I dunoe y i bother feeling hopeful, when it always disappoints.

2011-04-04T22:55:00.002+08:00

for the sake of a better exam timetable, i chose to take 2 super heavy mods. now, i'm kinda regretting. wah lauuuuuuuuuuuuuu........my brains are exploding. n i hate tt hard work does not equate to an A. damn. i dun even understand where i'm gg with this, let alone my poor prof. haiya. who ask u set e limit at 2.5?

2011-04-01T21:28:00.000+08:00

i feel so sian and drained. and so far i only had one essay!

haiz.

i tink i nid to let go and dun stress too much. one step at a time....one essay at a time...

2011-03-27T11:52:00.000+08:00

no feel no feel no feel.

damn damn damn.

3 essays in 2 weeks. all 2k words above. how to finish???

2011-03-23T22:20:00.001+08:00

this song is not too bad, but again, like katy perry, i wonder how sincere they're abt the themes.

2011-03-22T00:45:00.001+08:00

i damn freaking depressed now. very very worried...

2011-03-05T18:37:00.002+08:00

ytd was seriously one of the most scary day of my life. i tink i perspired a whole month's worth of sweat. sia la.

on the bright side, i tink i kinda understand his situation a little better.

on the down side, seriously what the fucking hell is he doing on earth. fucking useless ass of a pig. jibye. he needs to go fuck himself, that is, if he doesnt puke doing that.

2011-03-04T15:04:00.001+08:00

i don't know why i always get my hopes up, knowing that it's all futile and i'm juz gonna crash so painfully afterwards...

can sth juz go right, pls.....someone from above.......??

2011-03-03T00:57:00.000+08:00

i guess when u're in love, riding hme on a bicycle makes him seem like a hero in yr eyes.

2011-02-23T21:05:00.001+08:00

it's times like this when i'm so desperate and lonely and dun noe who i can turn to, that i (almost) wish i have a religion. to put my belief in sth else for once instead of myself. there has got to be a reason why i try and try and try so hard and always there're obstacles in front.

haiz.

i cant help but wanna escape from this world for a while.

2011-02-23T19:55:00.002+08:00

seriously wads wif moe.

they wanna sign new teachers, but they dun wanna retain the teachers. the schlarship officer is supposed to help us, but they're juz hindering us. omg. can they juz be abit more flexible. i've been thru the stupid trg, juz under different names!!!!!!!!! fuck. not like i dun wanna go, but thing is i nid to go for other internship to clear aus. which would be counted towards graduation! fuckers! juz listen to yr people instead of using them as cheap labor!!!!

haiz. i'm feeling so stressed and helpless but there's no one i can turn to...

2011-02-19T01:29:00.001+08:00

It's gg to be hard, but every step is a step - and it doesn't become fun until you master it.

i'll wait no more.

2011-02-17T16:57:00.001+08:00

i nid to reverse my thinking. i'll find it back. i promise myself.

2011-02-16T00:23:00.003+08:00

love all my friends who made an effort for me. but i feel abit paiseh too. =x
still, had a really great bdae tis year...i tink it rivals or beats my 21st. lol. i'm unconventional to the end. :)

2011-02-11T22:22:00.002+08:00

i know it's a joke. but sometimes, u gotta see other ppl face u noe. it's not witty at all. not when i noe my importance.

2011-02-11T14:18:00.001+08:00

sometimes i find it so difficult i dun wan to find the strength in me to continue..

2011-02-11T10:31:00.000+08:00

Opposites attract, but similarities last?? Is it really true??

been a while since i listened to tong's talks. i tink everyone needs a constant reminder. : )

2011-02-10T00:38:00.005+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Cz2cHBna0c

what is my worth?

i don't know. i only know what i do best in and i try my best in it.

idealism is high among the youths today.

if idealism is so high among youths, the same can be said for both youths of the educated and youths among the less fortunate and guided. right now messages towards the youth are directed at youths of the educated. idealism i suspect, is high but misguided in youths of the less fortunate and guided. teachers who actually care are usually good and scouted into top schools, or jcs. but teachers who actually cared are non exisitent in really low-down neighborhood schools and these youths are the ones who are ironically apathetic and idealistic in a way that is influenced by the mass media and (should i say) false images of what it means to be youthful. simply because they see the society differently and gave up hope without even hopiing in the first place. and yes, while i say this, some students flashed by my minds and certain ones stuck. i interacted with these students, these boys in homes and all. even the best of them seemed to be hindered by problems at home or simply juz unfortunate scoring in psle. again, teachers who actually care are few if any at all, and those who exist are probably discouraged and there is no motivation to give their all to the students, simply because of their lone voices and it sounds meek and weak. i do understand what it means to be highly idealistic, and as i said choosing to be a teacher has nvr worn off for me the way it did other millions of kids, but i'm real scared i'll be one of those lonely voices to be faded off in the distant distance.

empathy doesn't matter. we live in assessment-driven society.

i'm probably gonna be slamed whacked dunked left right center if i say this in front of tong's enlightened students, but while i agree we live in an assessment driven society, it is also wad makes us successful and the comfort of being armchair critics. of course the best things in life are for free, but perhaps my own experience of life taught me that the best things in life are free if you have the money to buy the rest of life. it sounds cynical and it probably is, but the idealism might come back to bite our asses if everyone youths start to pursue dreams and do things they're truly happy abt all the while being blind to marslow's pyramid base. i'm going to sound really unenlightened and pap-washed, but the deep rooted belief that one has to first achieve financial means before we can begin to do what we truly want remains in me. you can, but dun forget to make what makes you happy, pays financially. the message, i feel, was probably just a little too towards emotional capital, and if the audience don't check their rebellious drives and sudden encouragement from someone who finally tries to see us for who we are, they're probably gonna slump the other extreme and wham, a new set of problems to be inherited for generationX II. yup. i'm gg to make an excellent teacher for MOE. i'm stil gg to steal tong's style of observing the class to size up the class b4 i make my move. muahahaha! i'm thankful for the last message, where he said "i'm a teacher, and as a means to an end, i'm also an entreprener'. thank u for reminding that economic and social and emotional capital should be merged.

scholarships given to ppl who really care.

thank u world, for making dreams possible for 2 more ppl. it's a small step, but it's one huge ass step. i hope i get my job as a teacher rite. dont let me fail these kids.

2011-02-09T23:49:00.001+08:00

i keep forgetting..who am i to judge? get rid of this bad habit man! :)

so tired of their fighting.

2011-02-05T11:55:00.003+08:00

i kinda detest big families.

so much politics. petty politics. huge ass politics.

seriously it's all small misunderstandings and a huge mess of miscommunications.

wah lau eh. lucky i'm switzerland. not part of it.

i swear i'm gg to make my own fmily small, compact, united and independent.

may everyone huat.

2011-02-01T00:35:00.000+08:00

sometimes i tink i use my heart too much. nid to start using my head too.

2011-01-30T11:06:00.002+08:00

I really hate being treated like a spare tyre. No way in hell.

2011-01-28T22:55:00.004+08:00

SERIOUSLY FUCK MY LIFE.

I ALR HEARD THE DAMN RAIN FOR SO LONG. BUT WHEN I CAME OUT OF THE BATHROOM? IT BECOMES MY FUCKING CHEEBYE FAULT FOR NOT KEEPING THE LAN JIAO CLOTHES?!

YA LA. KNN. I'M A PIG NOW FOR NOT KEEPING THE CLOTHES RIGHT????

feeling the heat.

2011-01-23T21:23:00.002+08:00

haiz. i tink i better work harder soon. wah lau. at the rate my gpa is gg down.....sigh......too bad my future career depends on my degree. wah lau. additional stress.

2011-01-21T23:18:00.000+08:00

sorry. i overreacted.

超级白

2011-01-21T21:26:00.000+08:00

超级白

2011-01-16T20:02:00.001+08:00

if i chew my food from the right, it gets stuck in my mini wisdom tooth.

if i chew my food from the left, it gets painful wif all the ulcers.

FML.

2011-01-16T13:07:00.001+08:00

ulcer damn pain. hurts like hell. tink i got 2 ulcers and one weird cut or sth...my poor tongue....

2011-01-13T15:30:00.005+08:00

if i get married in the future, i wan a European wedding.

i can hear the cling cling cling of glasses..not like those cling cling cling in normal ballrooms with the very noisy and irritating sound of chatter in the background, but the gentle cling cling cling and low murmur of voices in the background. haha. i can alr imagine fat gentlemen holding their glasses and pretty ladies in a rare fairytale land. heh.

dun like the ceiling though...abit too hard for a wedding. but really classic european. =p
this is also nice, though the arrangement of the tables seem abit odd.

nice deco!!! : D but too packed la. haha.

complaints complaints

2011-01-11T20:05:00.003+08:00

i'm feeling panicky and emo again. haha. this last carefree holiday is not fun one!!! i wanna sit on a plane again!!! maowwwww.....i wonder when we'll have the time to go out again. sheesh.

2011-01-08T23:53:00.001+08:00

relax.

breathe.

i ain't gonna raise my blood temp.

2011-01-08T14:27:00.001+08:00

stewing wif anger.

2011-01-04T23:27:00.002+08:00

is it really wrong to have no ambitions and juz wanna teach? is it really wrong to not want to move wif others? i watch everyone zip past me and yet i have totally no motivation to catch up. i see everyone working hard and yet i am stil trying to find myself and zip in my own direction. i seriously dun noe.
can i stop second guessing myself and have the confidence to zip my dreams of floating the in the clouds and stop bowing to cold harsh earth?

2011-01-03T22:33:00.002+08:00

oh yes!!! finally a mini bfast meetup. maybe next time we juz chope the bfast slot. easier for everyone. juz make the GREAT effort to wake up can alr. HAHA!!

miss ah khar n val. woah. been so long since we last met, or as ah khar sae, as long as val's hair. haha! finally the bear bear shoes are gone from my table. gathering dust lo! lol. so sad tt i can only catch a glimpse of their lives thru blog and facebook and twitter. wah lau. wad kind of socialising sia. haha.

but it's okay. once in a while brings back a damn comfy feeling. lol.

2011-01-02T21:39:00.003+08:00

ytd i had dinner with cl's folks....woah...
他妈妈跟我放话 lae!!! hahaha....tell me directly she scared i bully him worx...lol....haiyo....i tink all girls muz seem like a terror to her now...lol...

hmm...i cant really tell whether they're really traditional not...on one hand it seems like really chinese chinese and it scares the hell out of me.....but on the other hand...it seems like they are accepting of the modern ways. lol.

wadeva it is, juz rmb be aware of myself...hahaha...

2011-01-02T19:21:00.001+08:00

the rest are bullshit.

2011-01-02T12:28:00.000+08:00

hmm......feels kinda....different.....??

2010-12-31T19:37:00.002+08:00

it's new year's eve...and i'm at home....sighs...

but i hope it'll be a trade-off for singtel to allow me to change my plan to youth plan. haiz.....

omg.......gotta wait for the next day...zzz...

2010-12-30T21:11:00.001+08:00

haiz...sometimes i listen to my mum talk i feel damn pek cek inside. but knowing she's got more to complain than me, i've got no choice to keep quiet. although i bite back most of the time. lol. haiz. she's good trg for my patience though. i'm quite proud dat i've mellowed over the years.

2010-12-23T22:31:00.001+08:00

i hate this sem. tot it'll be such a nice change..slackish with only 3 exams and asian lit. wah lau. end up...
WAH LAU. busier than i realised. n exams damn slackish. which means no motivation at all. zzz.

omg.

and it doesnt elp tt i'm feeling under the weather. zzz.

2010-12-18T21:38:00.001+08:00

seriously things are so topsy turvy. goods turn bad bads turn good.

pls dun let it happen to my results.

pls dun let it be a sign. omg.......

2010-12-18T00:34:00.001+08:00

my hands are so cold.

so damn sick of everything.

2010-12-14T01:36:00.001+08:00

i feel damn sick abt the agreement. sian.not tired sick, but somethings-gonna-be-wrong sick.

haizzzzzzzzzz.........

2010-12-14T00:40:00.000+08:00

damn it la...........signing of one damn agreement is so ma fan. nid so details. haiz......where to get one more surety?!

2010-12-06T11:40:00.000+08:00

sian....my 220 is so textual analysis la!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.............................

Back to December-Taylor Swift Lyrics

2010-11-30T23:29:00.000+08:00

so sad...this song is kinda stuck in my head. but guess...sth u nid to make some mistakes before u noe wad is truly impt to u. juz hope it's not too late

- and that yr love is gracious enuf.

HAHAHA!

2010-11-27T20:30:00.001+08:00

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........................cant get out of inertia....zzz....losing steam to start work.....haiz.....

2010-11-27T00:42:00.003+08:00

it's so difficult to get left behind. i hate e feeling of being alone..my weakness i guess..haha..

but love's a paradox of all - missing u yet feeling like u're juz beside me...knowing u yet there's more to be discovered...

: ))))))

come back soon.

2010-11-22T13:06:00.001+08:00

-"What do you think snow will becomes when it melts?"
-"Erm..water?"
-"No. It'll become spring."

2010-11-14T20:40:00.002+08:00

i miss my boyfriend.

hmm...was abt to create a mini post with loads of as-creative-as-i-can-get and other random details to put in, then i realise...

why shld i collect my thoughts and bind the feelings to meanings? so now, i'll just let the feelings possess me. : )

xoxo,
you know i love you.

2010-11-10T13:13:00.001+08:00

my performance 2dae sucks.

supposed to have an improvement, but end up only mine was like...damn bad....coz they couldnt hear me. haiz.....

dun noe why lae...suddenly i juz very soft...zzz.....

wah lau....everyone performed damn well 2dae...n everyone damn high...wah lau....only me la......... : (

shit. shld have asked him the grading process...zzz...

Katy Perry - Firework

2010-11-07T15:13:00.000+08:00

i like the themes portrayed here - homo, cancer, weight issues, etc...

but maybe too sexualised eh....why muz the sparks fly from here breasts? =.=

2010-11-01T11:59:00.001+08:00

i'm so touched by my dear students in sss!

haha...omg....i cant believe they still rmb me! : D

2010-10-31T21:30:00.003+08:00

seriously i nid to do sth abt my temper. i'm pissed off at every little thing and it's not good for my mental state. no point getting upset right...

but there are times when i wish everyone would leave me alone.....the hell with everything....

2010-10-31T17:06:00.001+08:00

i hate being treated like a backup.
i'm not a spare tyre u know.

2010-10-24T19:34:00.002+08:00

i'm very disappointed. i tot all would be well if i have a low profile and treat everyone well to the best of my ability.

but when u THOUGHT you have been helping others, it SUCKS to have someone backstab you.

knn. really spoil my day and crash my world sia.

What poetic term describes living your life while accepting that it is filled with uncertainty? | The Hot Word

2010-10-24T19:19:00.000+08:00

What poetic term describes living your life while accepting that it is filled with uncertainty? | The Hot Word

2010-10-21T20:15:00.002+08:00

y am i so busy this sem? seems like i have so much yet supposed to be a slack combi lae...zzz....tink it'll only be slackish when all my assignments in. knn.

i wanna go out on a date. a REAL date where we spread love the whole bloody day. do sth besides meet each other for a short while after sch.

someone's gonna faint when he sees this. lol.

2010-10-18T00:36:00.000+08:00

2010-10-12T01:08:00.001+08:00

gosh...u can really scratch until blood clots form in your body...ultimate level liao...but...it's damn itchy...zzz.....guess i'll pop one of the pills...

2010-10-03T21:26:00.002+08:00

the closer we get, the more we share,
the more i scared...

cant help feeling...like when is it gg to end...if its gg to last...

but i'll move on, coz i love you tt much.. :)

2010-09-24T00:48:00.002+08:00

goodness...i'm aging damn fast.....how easily i fall sick these days...shit man...i stil have a long life ahead sia....

get well soon..

I feel so dizzy

2010-09-19T19:22:00.000+08:00

I feel so dizzy.
My back aches like fuck.
Pls let it be over soon...

2010-09-15T11:22:00.001+08:00

Something seems different....

2010-09-12T17:17:00.001+08:00

sharing a day with the one you love is worth all the gold in the world. :)

2010-09-03T16:31:00.002+08:00

i feel so horrible....like i'm having a sunburn...but with the added feeling of my skin tearing..haiz....

but it's okay. i'll survive.

how nice if i'm not alone though.

游鸿明 - 恋上一个人

2010-08-21T19:41:00.000+08:00

oh ya, nice song dat kim hong sang at the celebration...

Another milestone in my life.

2010-08-21T18:33:00.002+08:00

I was actually reluctant that i'd signed up for teaching internship when i found out tt i actually got it. =x heh. was regretting as i tot tt i'll be slacking the holidays again...man...

during the trg...i felt even more reluctant as it was just a little waste of time...although....the ex-principal, Foo Choo Meng, was quite nice and experienced. *the moe organisers suck though*

then when i reported to the school for the first few days, i made great friends and one of the first was Cindy. i'll nvr forget how cindy was the only one who waited for me when i opened the door for the rest. heh. she became one of my best friends there.

tricia was another one who happened to sit near us...she's outspoken and speaks her mind directly. unfortunately she experienced a roller coaster time, her dressing, her CT, but i guess, the rapport she built with her students more than made up for her unhappiness, until the last day of school when finally she felt her aching at the tot of leaving them.

shawn the prawn the einstein, whom i introduced to FB. heh! i created a/c for cindy and shawn, and while cindy remains indifferent, shawn got hooked. lol. poor guy, always stepping on cindy's tail until 没有毛 liao....haha....lol....but he's a caring teacher who really tries his best to understand his students and making sure he's fair.

kim hong the artist with his eight musical instruments and calligraphy and wadsnot, michelle the observer who got upset when her CT did not really care and believed that only willing learners are interested, irfan the unscrupulous businessman who is really a great sport and took 3 of us to cheat and pin him down in monopoly, kuan yong my swimming partner and sidney kumar who always act cool - they were all part of my precious memories there.

the students i taught were fantastic. 1EC and 1ED - lovely kids who made me real angry when they refused to respect me and make me so angry at times. lol. always so cheeky and mischievous, and refusing to settle down until i have my quiet signal. but i'm really glad i got to teach them, as they are really juz young students who needs guidance. pls dont let them turn into spoilt upper sce brats who refused to respect teachers, defiant and believing tt teachers can do nth to them when they refused to pay proper respect and attention.

i do regret not being able to teach 2EB though. though cheeky, they really are not spoilt and are willing to learn. in a way, they are those sec 1 students who grew up a little and in the right direction. so happy tt they started to warm to me, although it was my last lesson alr. heh. i hope i left a little memory with them - when i acted as Grandpa in KPK Kopitiam. heh. they sae i can be mediacorp actress le...so i cheekily told them...cannot la...not pretty enough. :P teaching them the wrong values....but too bad...haha...

1N1 is a good class...with certain spoilt students etc. but with the possible exception of one student, the rest are really okay and one even sae they me like me better...because i dont scold them. zzz. lol....but hopefully, they'll outgrow their attitude and their potential to be delinquents would disappear.

2N3? let me forget them.

Ms Ng and Ms Ho were great teachers, and i'm really grateful and thank my lucky and count my blessings. Ms Ng esp, took really good care of me and really helped me and gave me a glowing report and really really really take good care of me. i noe i'm not a good learner, but Ms Ng really was very patient and listed all the good points i had, even if they were small and sth even unintentional. if it were other teachers, they would be encouraging me to give up alr. =x Ms Ho gave me a compliment tt i was one of the more proactive teachers, and her encouragement really picked my day up, tt day when i realised tt it was not easy teaching drama to the kids.

i made mistakes and all. but after my eight weeks here, i found tt i was reluctant again - to leave. i whined i complained - about leaving. lol. now the trainee teachers's room would be very quiet, and the PDGE teachers can finally do work liao. haha...oh man.....so sad....... ;( esp poor shawn, who hanged out with us and now he's the last to leave. =x

my internship is seriously the best job i have - and marks a milestone for me. i've never been this happy working, and made me realise that in the future, i really need to choose a career i'm interested in and have a passion for. i was not moved to tears, but there's this bubble of happiness when i saw the whole class staying back to celebrate. and when the kids wanted to stand beside me in the photos. heh.

this job really gave me alot of joys and pains, but ya,

WORTH IT. :DDDDDDDDD